There are two action items that I believe every couple should do before deciding to get married:

1. Travel: not just an overnighter. It needs to be for a week or more. It’s easy to be on your best behavior for a day or two. You will see, hear and smell it all when you’re confined for a full week or more.

2. Do a home remodel: this one is a bit harder to schedule than a trip to Amsterdam, but no less important. There are several decisions, compromises, and agreements that two people must navigate before they can complete a successful remodel. As with any great relationship, it must be built upon trust, open communication, and shared financial decisions.

It all started with a broken oven.

Our 20+ year-old home has 20+ year-old appliances. Our oven had been on the fritz. Sometimes it worked, sometimes not. We got through Thanksgiving. My dad and I even tried soldering new electronics to the motherboard in an attempt to salvage our beloved oven, but with no luck.

So we did what any rational couple would do: we decided to remodel nearly our entire home.

To our defense, it was only supposed to be the kitchen. As remodels go, one room leads to another, and so on.

Where does one begin?

Step One: Dream It

Before reaching out to a contractor, have as many design decisions ready to go as you can. Being able to vividly regurgitate your vision is vital to establishing a clear line of communication with your contractor.

Despite your preparation, you will still have mid-project decisions to make. Those are easier to tackle if you have an overall vision.

Inspiration: Houzz and Pinterest were both instrumental in helping my wife narrow in on our style and create idea boards. We were able to share our idea boards with our contractor and his subs so that they were all on the same page with our design goals.

Colors: Kylie M. Interiors Kylie, if you ever read this, just know that you have made a big impact in my life. I no longer understand the difference between the “Pistol” and “Wing-T” offenses, but I can tell all my buddies on the golf course about Chantilly Lace, Dove White, and Alabaster, along with their corresponding light reflective values (LRV). She’s a wizard. Check out her content (hire her!) for color suggestions and education. Upon choosing colors, hop over to Samplize for color samples that stick to your wall.

Style: There are a lot of designers and influencers out there. One of my favorites is Nick Lewis. His YouTube channel is fantastic and fun, and he’s Canadian. We were looking to add some coastal-modern style to our home while pulling in details that would allow our design choices to remain timeless and easy to change. Nick’s tips helped us achieve that.

Finances: Get them in order. Whether it’s savings, a HELOC, a cash-out refi, an inheritance, or a lemonade stand, know what resources you have available to spend.

Set realistic expectations for your project.

Ask yourself: Do I really need Wolf appliances, or do I just like the red knobs? Maybe you have disposable income or are a professional chef.

It’s okay to make an expensive style choice. Just don’t turn your nose up at an expensive plumbing or electric work invoice when you just forked out $22,000 for an oven.

Step Two: Assemble the Avengers

Contractor: Your contractor is like Captain America. He or she is the leader of your team and will be your most important hire.

The contractor interview process is crucial because they will be a pseudo-member of your household. He or she will be around often.

How well does the contractor communicate? If they are slow during the interview process, then don’t expect it to get better once you hire them on.

Our contractor, Denny Wilson of Wilson Construction Co., remains a friend to us to this day. He was an excellent communicator and listener, which I feel is equally important.

Denny helped us execute our vision and navigate some rocky waters, which will occur when taking on a remodel. He will be our first call for any future projects, and if you live in Placer County, CA, he should be yours as well!

Step Three: Go Camping

Seriously, go camping or on vacation for a few months. If not, rent a place during your remodel. If all else fails, do what we did and essentially be a squatter in your own home. Look, this is certainly a first-world problem, and one that we paid for.

It is much more convenient to build a spec home than to remodel an existing one.

Be prepared for a lot of mess and organizational chaos. Being a 4th generation neurotic individual, “mess” and “chaos” do not fit into the accurate description of my preferred “love language.” Please read Garage Makeover for reference to my love of “clean.”

My 7-year-old daughters freaked out the other day when I mentioned I wanted to clean out the garage. “Not another remodel, Daddy!”

Step 4: Be adaptable.

Refer back to the “Finances” section: Take your original estimate and add 25% to it. I’ve heard of forecasting 10-15%, but I feel like if you overestimate “getting hosed” and you “kind of get hosed,” then the “hosing” is much more palatable. Catch my drift?

Everything will not go according to plan. When it doesn’t, don’t act surprised. Be flexible and ready to adjust.

As the great Mike Tyson once said, “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

Step 5: Enjoy the process.

Remember, you have the luxury of a home! Statistics claim that there are over 1.5 billion people living in poor housing worldwide. YOU are not one of them, so be thankful for the delay in your appliances or the tardiness of a subcontractor. It’s not the end of the world.

Crack a bottle of wine or four and have fun making the little choices that come together over the course of your remodel.

SIDE NOTES

I won’t dive into all of the details of our remodel because there are several blogs and boards out there that do so much more eloquently than I will. This blog is meant to tackle “how to take on a remodel,” not look at our fabulous one.

But if you must know…see below

appliances: all Thermador, with a Bosch refrigerator (the Bosch handles match the Thermador pro-style appliances). We did the Thermador package promotion. I would suggest upgrading to the mid-level dishwasher. It’s my one appliance regret. We also did the combo speed/convection oven and absolutely love it.

new countertops: MSI quartz, which is nearly indestructible; just do not place anything hot on top of them.

backsplash: big fan of the Chloe tile in a squared, stacked configuration

new cabinets: simply white-colored, shaker-style cabinets with soft-close hinges. For shaker cabinets, go for a slightly slanted, beveled edge. I'm glad we did this, as the 90-degree bevel can collect dust. The island cabinet color is Van Deusen Blue

This remodel led to new floors. Most of our home had travertine tile throughout and carpet in the bedrooms.

The carpet had its fair share of traffic, and the tile, along with grout, was ready to go.

We decided on engineered hardwood from Monarch Plank. It’s a beautiful, wide-planked, brushed white oak floor. We did this throughout the house. Though the wide plank created a tougher install, we are pleased with the design choice.

My old boss (a self-described “frustrated perfectionist”) has an amazing eye for design and is generous with his time and opinions. He popped by to give some suggestions.

My boss made suggestions like knocking out a wall, adding a breakfast nook, and installing massive floor-to-ceiling multi-glide doors.

My first question was, “You know how much I make. Can I afford these designs?”

“Sure you can! I’ve already priced it out,” was his response.

His prices were way off, but his suggestions were spot on. My wife even came to tears when I told her about the nook. “I always wanted a breakfast nook!”

Wrapping it up

It turns out that my wife and I are meant for each other! Traveling is always fun, and we made it through the remodel with our marriage stronger than ever. Our kids may need some therapy, but they’ll get over it with the help of the “magic toilet” and it’s heated seat.

We certainly had our disagreements, which I’ll share because this is my blog:

-I was right about Van Deusen Blue: we get many compliments on the island.

-If you have white floor tile, go with dark grout. Seriously folks!

-Everyone loves the bidet in the guest bathroom. Our family refers to it as the “Magic Toilet.” Toto Washlet: Buy this and thank me later.

-She was right about the fun front door color. It pops and is unique. Great call, Becky!

Best of luck to you in your future remodeling endeavors. Perhaps your project will someday end up on someone’s Pinterest idea board!

https://www.thermador.com/us/

https://www.bosch-home.com/us/

https://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/paint-colors/color/hc-156/van-deusen-blue

https://www.benjaminmoore.com/en-us/paint-colors/color/oc-117/simply-white

https://www.msisurfaces.com/quartz-countertops/soapstone-mist-concrete-quartz/

https://monarchplank.com/products/manor-hemsby

https://www.kylieminteriors.ca/posts/

https://samplize.com/

https://www.nicklewis.ca/

https://www.wilsonconstructionco.com/team

https://www.developmentaid.org/news-stream/post/157797/homelessness-statistics-in-the-world